Civilians! The Chemical Brothers in Berlin

Home - About » Personal Blog - September 24, 2005 « Previous Entry - Next Entry
Computer Science
Research, Industry Work,
Programming
Community Service
Hillside Group, CHOOSE,
Stanford GSA
The Serious Side
Business School,
Learning Chinese
Humorous Takes
Switzerland, United States,
Software, Fun Photos
Travel Stories
Europe, United States, Asia
  
Living Places
Berlin (+ Gallery), Zürich
Boston, S.F. + Bay Area

I run a final check: Dark clothing, hiking boots, sweat-proof wallet and cell phone cover, keys, earplugs. All set, I'm ready to roll.

Tonight the Chemical Brothers will be spinning at the Velodrom. I've never seen them, but their music has been a mainstay of my collection for a while. I'm looking forward to this.

At twenty hundred hours I meet for dinner with Rainer, brother in arms for tonight. We are fueling up at an African place to get ready for a long night.

Early intelligence relayed that the event starts at twenty-one hundred hours. WTF?! This must be a trap. No self-respecting party in this city ever started before midnight, and even that would be early.

At twenty-three hundred hours we decide to go on a reconnaissance mission to gather more data. We make it to the Velodrom, get tickets, and see that the lineup schedule has finally been published. The Chemical Brothers will be on at zero one-hundred thirty hours. Time to retreat, regroup, and plan the final attack.

We make it back into town and treat ourselves to an espresso. Technically speaking, this puts us into the latte-and-sushi set, but that's nonsense. A good officer knows when to go undercover and fake the bourgeois bohemian. Any mission worth its name requires its sacrifices.

Finally, the time has come, and we secretly make our way back to the Velodrom. We pass security unharmed. After careful consideration, we go on a joint mission to scout out the terrain. The place looks harmless, no apparent obstacles in our way.

At zero one-hundred thirty hours, we move in on the main floor, ready to kick into action. But nothing is happening. Did they get stuck in the mud? It is already zero one-hundred fourty hours, and nobody is on stage. Guys, you are performing in the heart of Prussia, get your act together.

Finally, they are on. Playing a few hits. Nothing exciting. I'm moving along on the base frequency only. If they continue like this, I won't break a sweat while completing the mission with flying colors.

Suddenly, someone is dangling a beer in front of me. It is Rainer, master of the supply chain, and second in command. We retreat for a break.

When I return, the music has got worse. Nothing danceable. With long pauses in between for no apparent reason. The civilians around me are booing and toting their whistles.

Double-click to play Quicktime videos (or something).

Civilians! They range from the ordinary (Puma t-shirt) through the subversive (Kenneth Cole blue-collar dress shirt) to the obnoxious (pink Lacoste polo-shirt).

Twenty minutes later, the Chemical Brothers finish and the next guy moves onto the stage. Another dud, it turns out, just like the Chemical Brothers tonight. What a disappointment.

We keep chugging along. Eventually it becomes clear we won't meet the mission's objective due to circumstances beyond our control. Abort mission.

At home, I take a shower and wonder whether I should watch a Teletubbies episode. Nah, that's for ecstasy fiends and other loosers only. I just go to bed.

Transmission complete. Over and out.

Copyright (©) 2007 Dirk Riehle. Some rights reserved. (Creative Commons License BY-NC-SA.) Original Web Location: http://www.riehle.org